19. PRAYER FOR TRUE CONVERSION

     O almighty God, merciful Father, Thou dost call me and all sinners to repentance by saying: "Return, thou backsliding Isreal, and I will not cause Mine anger to fall upon you; for I am merciful, and I will not keep anger forever.  Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord, thy God."  This voice of repentance and grace daily reaches my ears and my heart; but alas! I am not able of myself to bring about my conversion.  No more that the Ethiopian can change his skin or the leopard his spots, can I by my own natural power abstain from sin and turn to good deeds, inasmuch as the imagination of my heart is evil from my youth and continually.  Even when by Thy grace I resolved to arise to seek reconciliation with Thee and to offer the sacrifices of a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, even then Satan, the accursed, places a thousand obstacles in my path; and also my own flesh and blood endeavors to prevent me from doing "the good that I would," but would have me continue in sin and perish therein.  For this reason I bow my knees to Thee, Abba, dear Father, praying for the sake of Thine infinite mercy:  "Turn Thou me, and I shall be turned." Let Thy grace, O my God, not be lost on me, but as Thou didst work in me to will, work also in me to do of Thy good pleasure.  Counteract, I pray Thee, the evil designs of the infernal fiend and arrest the promptings of my perverted heart, so that the holy resolution I have may not be hindered or come to naught.  Open mine eyes, that I may clearly see and bitterly lament my sins.  Give unto me that godly sorrow which worketh repentance unto salvation not to be repented of.  But do not let me perish under the load of my sin nor despair, as did Cain and Judas, but turn Thou to me and be gracious unto me; look upon my misery and distress and forgive all my sins.  Show unto me, I pray Thee, Thy fatherly, loving and merciful heart, which hath no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live.  Speak kindly to my soul, saying Thou wilt show mercy in place of justice and nevermore remember my transgressions.  Have me look upon my crucified Savior, who was delivered for our offenses and was raised again for our justification.  Open to me for a safe refuge His bleeding wounds, in which so many a poor sinner has found comfort and salvation.  Creat also in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from Thy presence and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me.  Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation and uphold me with Thy free Spirit in the fixed purpose to amend my sinful life and to serve Thee all the days of my life in holiness and righteousness which is pleasing to Thee.  O Lord, hear me!  O Lord, have mercy up on me!  O, Lord bring it to pass for Jesus Christ's sake.  Amen.